pretty much haven't written in this for an age. Or since february, apparently. But it's late at night, or early in the morning, I can't sleep, and feel the need to vent. My cat is happily curled up next to me, enjoying my clean sheets.

Basically, I'm thinking about enough. I seem to have a problem with limits. As in, I kinda know when I should stop, but barrel on through anyway. Or go to the other extreme-laziness, giving up too quickly, not pushing myself far enough.

I guess it's a lack of self control-the tendency to take the path of least resistance. Elemental, in a way. And nobody's fault but my own.

I get older, I get more set in my ways and I wonder if I'm ever going to change. Then I eat crappy food, read crappy books and lament the sorry state I find myself in.

I want to change-but I can think that all I want. I have to actually do something about it for anything to happen. Not just complain relentlessly to kind-hearted people.

Last Day

I wish that the place where I work was populated only by nice people who shower regularly. But you can't always get what you want, as the Rolling Stones, and more recently the cast of Glee have taught us.

I was rewatching the start of the first season of Friday Night Lights yesterday. The first episode makes me cry. Mind you so do the Women's Moguls in the winter olympics. straannnnnnnnnnnge.

a nz art blog what is good to read

I start elam again on Tuesday! Got tutor list and first project via Cecil the other day. They got us to rank the tutors, which I thought was a bit mean. I wonder if the tutors get to see the rankings? I basically went in order of whose work I liked best, with the painter guy and design lady at the end. Possibly silly, considering those were my two best marks last year, but the disciplines I like the least.

oh, nerdy computer games. what have you done?

More figure wotsits

beardy

fur stole with leg

Things what I have made

Not very good photos but this is a tribesman guy made out of polymer clay, part of an old radio, some bits of fabric and miscellaneous metal bits. there are more in the same vein, but he is the most developed

We got a whole lot of cardboard boxes from our new bbq, so I decided to make a castle with help from my brother. One cat is about to make a raid on the castle. or at least seriously considering it.

It has a drawbridge!

Writing-some painfully philosophical musings

I would like to live a life in which I could record things that I do in a public forum and not feel embarassed by some- even though if you blog about something in a way that is subjective to how the event actually happened, no one is exactly going to come along and go 'hang on a minute, something is not right here.' 

Ironic, to feel this way actually. Every recording, or remembrance of any event would differ from person to person, warped and mutated through cloudy vision. 

Some people seem to become more decidely themselves when they write-as though there is no coloured filter between who they are and the paper. Others vary on a spectrum from slightly affected to discomfortingly forced. 

I don't know where I fall. But I envy those who can see their soul laid out in a mirror of words whenever they choose.

Me You and Everyone We Know

Back in the day when everyone was on Myspace, not Facebook, the profile form presented you with a question: Who would you like to meet?

I'm not sure I would want to meet the people I consider my 'heroes' for fear they wouldn't live up to the respect I have for what they have achieved. But here, in no particular order are the people I wish I could be half as awesome as

Christina Lamb: Foreign correspondent and author who spends her time in places like Afghanistan and Pakistan, writes amazingly well and with a sort of human compassion that makes it obvious she genuinely cares about her subject rather than what a badass secret agent her actions make her. I read her autobiography 'Small Wars Pending' sitting on the floor of a train to Hamburg, it was captivating.

Leonard Cohen: I grew up listening to his music, as my Mum is a fan. My Dad considered it too dark to listen to more than a few songs. But I didn't really appreciate it until he happened to be playing in Montreux and I decided to go, but tickets were sold out. I started relistening to his albums, and luckily he came to New Zealand. His show was a magical experience, his voice and genuine gratefulness at the response he received was incredible. Plus he skipped offstage.

Miranda July: Being creative is hard. I came across Miranda July last year, and keep on coming across her in different genres. She is a performance artist, author, has work at the Venice Biennale and wrote, directed and starred in her first feature film, 'Me, You and Everyone we Know' which I watched today. That one person can be successful at all that is just awesome

http://mirandajuly.com/